Giving it to God is not always the easiest thing in the world. To be quite honest it’s one of the hardest things for me to do because at times I can be such a control freak that I just don’t want to let go. I want to continue to try and do things my way or worry about it and hang onto it because in some way in my mind I think that it helps. And I usually hang onto it for so long that it becomes a “burden”. Something that weighs you down so much, it feels like you have a load on you because you’re not giving it to God. This verse came to my mind:
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 KJV
God wants us to give him our burdens. He wants us to give all of our worries to Him, but we as humans don’t usually want to give someone else control, right?
As you have all read in the previous post, my boyfriend Billy is currently in the hospital after having a double lung transplant. He has gone through so much but God has helped him through it. You see… I was worrying so much. At times I was like “oh, Billy will get better before we know it!” And at other times I would just start to cry and beg God to heal Billy.
I was holding onto my worry and fears rather than giving it to God. In my head I thought that if I gave it to God, then I could surely lose Billy… and I wasn’t willing to do that. So, two nights ago I finally gave it to God. I had completely broken down. I asked my mom to come and hold me and she did and comforted me with promises from God and talking with me, calming me down. She said, “Did you know that God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear?” I responded with yes. And it’s true.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7 KJV
At that moment in time, I certainly did not have a sound mind (haha it rhymes!). After I had calmed down a bit, I closed my eyes and prayed. I gave all my worries, all my fears, everything. I gave it all to Him. And after I did I had peace in my heart.
Want to know something positively amazing that just completely boosted my spirits?
The next day (3-27-2017) the breathing tubes CAME OUT! His doctor told him he was going to be ok and he was officially on the road to recovery! His lungs had finally begun to work! The doctors had him sit up and he was able to actually move from laying down for almost an entire week! Can you believe that?! How amazing is our God? I was overjoyed at the news and began thanking God for helping Billy and his medical team. I was so excited and I still am! My boyfriend is ok and recovering!
Today (3-28-2017) he texted me this morning and I squealed. He was able to text!!! I was also able to go see him. (I was highly impressed with myself for remembering how to get to his room without asking for help.) I brought him balloons and a card – courtesy of my mom – and a small little turtle charm to signify his pet tortoise, Tortellini. I had given him a stuffed bulldog to signify Arnold and now he has both pets in some fashion.
Billy is looking better, but you can see the pain etched onto his face. He doesn’t have the breathing tubes nor does he have the ventilator in! (The ventilator was taken out today!!) He does different things hooked up to him but he was sitting up in a recliner which I’m sure he appreciated instead of being stuck in bed.
He does have a lot of pain in his chest and stomach area, but that is because of the gas build up from laying in basically the same position for almost an entire week. So please pray that the gas will go through and the pain will subside.
Not only does he have pain, but just as everyone else he has fears and worries for himself. Please pray that God replaces those fears and worries with peace.
Billy is doing so much better and I thank you all for your continued prayers. He really wants to go home but it will take some time. I told him that before he knows it, he will be out of the ICU, in a regular hospital room, and then back home.
Pray for lifted spirits, peace, that his pain subsides, the gas goes away, and for his strength to return.
If YOU would like to help Billy, there will be a DRC Charity Car Show on April 9, 2017 from 12pm-4pm at Stottlemyer’s Smokehouse in Sarasota. There will be raffles, t-shirts, some pretty awesome cars, and much more! So come out if you can!!
This is a photo of Billy and I from February 2, 2017 on the hammocks at our college 🙂 He loves hammocks while I think they’re waiting to trick me and flip me off haha but he gets on it first to show me its ok.