Giving it to God & Praises

Giving it to God is not always the easiest thing in the world. To be quite honest it’s one of the hardest things for me to do because at times I can be such a control freak that I just don’t want to let go. I want to continue to try and do things my way or worry about it and hang onto it because in some way in my mind I think that it helps. And I usually hang onto it for so long that it becomes a “burden”. Something that weighs you down so much, it feels like you have a load on you because you’re not giving it to God. This verse came to my mind:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:28‬ ‭KJV

God wants us to give him our burdens. He wants us to give all of our worries to Him, but we as humans don’t usually want to give someone else control, right? 

As you have all read in the previous post, my boyfriend Billy is currently in the hospital after having a double lung transplant. He has gone through so much but God has helped him through it. You see… I was worrying so much. At times I was like “oh, Billy will get better before we know it!” And at other times I would just start to cry and beg God to heal Billy. 

I was holding onto my worry and fears rather than giving it to God. In my head I thought that if I gave it to God, then I could surely lose Billy… and I wasn’t willing to do that. So, two nights ago I finally gave it to God. I had completely broken down. I asked my mom to come and hold me and she did and comforted me with promises from God and talking with me, calming me down. She said, “Did you know that God doesn’t give us a spirit of fear?” I responded with yes. And it’s true. 

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

At that moment in time, I certainly did not have a sound mind (haha it rhymes!). After I had calmed down a bit, I closed my eyes and prayed. I gave all my worries, all my fears, everything. I gave it all to Him. And after I did I had peace in my heart. 

Want to know something positively amazing that just completely boosted my spirits? 

The next day (3-27-2017) the breathing tubes CAME OUT! His doctor told him he was going to be ok and he was officially on the road to recovery! His lungs had finally begun to work! The doctors had him sit up and he was able to actually move from laying down for almost an entire week! Can you believe that?! How amazing is our God?  I was overjoyed at the news and began thanking God for helping Billy and his medical team. I was so excited and I still am! My boyfriend is ok and recovering! 

Today (3-28-2017) he texted me this morning and I squealed. He was able to text!!! I was also able to go see him. (I was highly impressed with myself for remembering how to get to his room without asking for help.) I brought him balloons and a card – courtesy of my mom – and a small little turtle charm to signify his pet tortoise, Tortellini. I had given him a stuffed bulldog to signify Arnold and now he has both pets in some fashion. 

Billy is looking better, but you can see the pain etched onto his face. He doesn’t have the breathing tubes nor does he have the ventilator in! (The ventilator was taken out today!!) He does different things hooked up to him but he was sitting up in a recliner which I’m sure he appreciated instead of being stuck in bed. 

He does have a lot of pain in his chest and stomach area, but that is because of the gas build up from laying in basically the same position for almost an entire week. So please pray that the gas will go through and the pain will subside. 

Not only does he have pain, but just as everyone else he has fears and worries for himself. Please pray that God replaces those fears and worries with peace. 

Billy is doing so much better and I thank you all for your continued prayers. He really wants to go home but it will take some time. I told him that before he knows it, he will be out of the ICU, in a regular hospital room, and then back home.

Pray for lifted spirits, peace, that his pain subsides, the gas goes away, and for his strength to return. 

If YOU would like to help Billy, there will be a DRC Charity Car Show on April 9, 2017 from 12pm-4pm at Stottlemyer’s Smokehouse in Sarasota. There will be raffles, t-shirts, some pretty awesome cars, and much more! So come out if you can!! 

This is a photo of Billy and I from February 2, 2017 on the hammocks at our college 🙂 He loves hammocks while I think they’re waiting to trick me and flip me off haha but he gets on it first to show me its ok. 

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There’s this guy named Billy.

There’s this guy named Billy. His actual name is William (but I only call him that when I get onto him). He’s a little taller than me, has brown eyes, black hair, and the most contagious laugh and smile I’ve ever seen or heard from a person. 

He’s 3 years older than me, or if you ask him 2 years and some odd months and days. He counted it down, no joke. He loves to eat Chinese food, gummy bears, oranges, watermelon, and vanilla pudding. I swear he’s made up of Chinese food though! He loves to eat it! I’m sure if it were possible he would eat it each and every single day. 

He loves his dog Arnold, which is an English Bulldog, and his pet tortoise Tortellini. They’re both absolutely adorable and I love playing with them. 

I met him May 20,2016 and we began dating January 1, 2017. Before we even began to date, I loved him. This isn’t your “I love you like a friend or brother” type of love this is the “I love you with everything in me and I never want to lose you” type of love. The type of love that makes your heart break at the thought of ever living without a person.

You see, before I met Billy I never really understood why some people would go, “I can’t live without him/her!” In my head I was like, “Um… you lived without them before you met them and you were perfectly fine. You can live without them now”. Boy was I completely and totally wrong. I had never experienced that type of love. Billy is the only person I have ever felt that way about. 

Before Billy and I dated, there was a night that I almost lost him. He was in the hospital and the doctors weren’t sure if he would make it. He had been coughing up blood and they had him on a ventilator. That night I was a mess. The mere thought of losing him… I couldn’t handle it. So the next day I went up to see him. I really couldn’t stay away. He wasn’t awake when I was there, but I left him a note, a photo of us, and a little stuffed bulldog since he has his English Bulldog, Arnold. He pulled through amazingly, obviously. 

But now… now he’s back in the hospital. Here’s some well needed information: Billy has cystic fibrosis. He went on the transplant list not too long ago and he was nervous about it. At times he would be super excited because he could play soccer again and go swimming and do all the things he has missed doing! But at other times he was worried about the surgery and I completely understand that. 

On Monday, March 20,2017, he got the call to go up for a possible double lung transplant. He texted me and told me to call him and then told me! I was so happy (and beyond nervous) for him. Finally he would be able to enjoy a second shot at life and do everything he missed. He said he would let me know how everything goes, when he would go back for surgery and stuff. That night I tried my hardest to stay awake to know when he would go in for surgery and pray. 

Tuesday, March 21,2017, he went in for surgery around 5:30am. I prayed so hard for him. During the surgery however, there were complications. You see, donor lungs can only be out of the human body for up to 4 hours. But because his lungs were so damaged and scarred, it took longer for the doctors to get his original lungs out and the donor lungs were on ice for longer than 4 hours. 

Since then, he’s had a lot of complications with his new lungs. They just don’t want to wake up. He’s been on and off a ventilator, he has two breathing machines working for his lungs, and many more things to make sure he’s ok and alive.

I pray more than anything that his lungs will wake up, begin to work, that he will be able to move out of the ICU and be on the road to recovery. 

It’s hard. It’s so difficult not knowing what’s going to happen next. Is he going to survive this? Is he going to be able to live a long and happy life? So many questions with so little answers but I have faith that things will get better for him. The thought of losing him tears me up and I don’t want to think about that possibility. 

I know that with God, all things are possible. I believe that he will get better and he has so many people praying for him!! I love him more than anything. 
So please if you have some spare time or think about it, please pray for him. Lift him up and ask God to heal his new lungs. That they will begin to work, that he will get better, and that he will be on the road to recovery. Here is a picture of the two of us 15 days ago at one of my friends wedding. That was a fun day for us 🙂 


My favorite verse that I always cling onto is:

 “Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:12‬ ‭KJV‬‬